As summer rolls to an end, new beginnings are around the bend ( I swear I don't try to rhyme every line like a hokie Hallmark greeting, but y'know, sometimes these things just happen) ;)
While spending a bit of time with my family this past month, my parents gave me a small box of trinkets which belong to my grandmother who is sadly suffering with Alzheimer's disease. Nothing fancy, just some odds & ends which she did not need with her in the nursing center. Among them were some lovely beaded necklaces which I remember wearing while playing dress up & a couple of old address books. As I thumbed through the address books I was amazed. Amazed at how many addresses my grandma had for ME! One after another she scratched each out. Rewriting each one with the same elegant penmanship (trying desperately to stay within the same Letter category) however, with each move it became harder & harder to the point where my name was just put in the beginning as well as at the end of the booklet. Like a floating drifter, never to be captured. I like to think of my address as the address that wasn't. And to tell you the truth, a few of the addresses I barely remember (& many from my recollection...would be better if they were forgotten forever). Living as a traveling musician has definitely been an adventure & home has definitely become where the Band is. Although I was quite taken by my own presence in the book, the real story of the address book is the date of my grandfather's death. September 27, 1999. Such a sad day which still breaks my heart in two. I believe now that my grandmother must have been suffering from Alzheimer's even then as I found the date written over & over again. Page to page. Between the lines. Between the street numbers of uncles, aunts...car repair shops & dry cleaners, there it was...Sept 27 1999. As if desperately trying to guarantee that she would never ever tragically forget that date. The saddest date which changed her life forever & took her sweetest sweetheart from this earth. It absolutely brought me to tears to imagine such a struggle. The struggle of remembering ....remembering to never forget.
I am almost sure that she would not know that date if someone asked her today. The Alzheimer's has progressed quite rapidly over the past few years causing so much confusion & anxiety in such a strong, gorgeous & vivacious woman. But I hope she knows, like I know, the date just doesn't matter. Just like the irrelevance of an everchanging address,
Love doesn't play by the same rules as our day to day routine of life.
It isn't on Schedule and
Love hasn't any Address
xoxo
and the Crush Goes On...
Parachute Girl
and the move goes on too! ;)
